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Okay rant over.

As I struggle to come up with content for my NaBloPoMo challenge and wonder why it seemed so easy to write non stop all those years ago, I realize it’s because the focus of this blog is supposed to be more about me, and less about them.  I started out as a “mommy blogger” and ended up wanting to be a bit of an influencer, and then mid life whacked me and I decided to write again as a way to rediscover me, myself and I.

Apparently there’s not much to discover.  At least not worth blogging about at any great length for now.

And it’s hit me.  I can’t write without focusing on my family, my kids. They are such a fundamental part of who I am.  They are always top of mind, before anything else. I have to give in – I can’t not write about them.  Their stories are what make me laugh, cry, worry, all that good stuff that life brings.  So I will no longer fight it.

It was an atypical Sunday evening last night, in that both kids were home for dinner and we were eating together. Not at the kitchen table, but in the family room, where we watched a couple of shows together and then my daughter suggested we put some DVDs on of when she was a baby.

When I was home the first time around, I took video of the kids.  For the first year, it seemed like I did so every. Single.  Day.  That’s a lot of footage.  The beauty of it is that we can all watch and laugh and appreciate the early days of us being a family of four. It is indeed beautiful to watch.  It makes me appreciate both the kids, and yes indeed  in particular my little boy, who was full of charm, hilarity, personality and just so happy, happy, happy.

The wonderful thing is that he is still a happy boy/ man child.  It’s easy to forget in the day to day, that despite all the annoying little nonsensical stuff I complain about, he’s pretty much an ideal son.  I need to remember that, and knock on wood, count my lucky stars, all of that – hope that we continue to have a close relationship.

One thing that makes me love him even more?  He rocks it as a big brother and has from Day 1.  Love.

 (taken from year one up, last shot almost 10 years ago).

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