“It’s scary”

Not to start out with a crazy post for the new year or anything. I’ve just come to realize, with the holiday break coming to an end in 14 hours or so (well if you tack on sleep it will be more like 20), time is whizzing by at an incredibly fast speed.  Even though we did pretty much NOTHING over the break. Other than hang around the house, with the occasional outing to the mall, the movies -usual stuff. When I took my daughter to the Science center for the day she said, “Finally we’re doing something after over a week in the house!!!”

So how did it just whip by? And how did I let it?

The one thing that has become crystal clear to me during this episode of “staying home with the kids part deux” is that as much as the kids really need me, I most certainly need them. They don’t define all of me, but they sure are a large chunk of my identity.  How could they not be?  The tremendous efforts we (and I in particular -oh those injections -oof) made through the years to realize our dream of having a family were beyond worth it.  It’s nothing like the holidays and the simple conversations we’ve had with the kids, seeing them develop even within the last two weeks of nothingness, to highlight the scariest fact.

They are growing up. 

Last week, my son had surgery to remove a couple of wisdom teeth and was only comfortable with it if we guaranteed sedation for him.  Which of course we did. How else would his sister get hilarious video footage of him to share out on social media in order for us to make millions?  She waited patiently for 90 minutes and then filmed him  on the ride home.  Some of it was hilarious:

– the boy was really hankering for a McD’s strawberry milkshake post surgery and started crying when he remembered a precious drive thru fail to get an Oreo McFlurry. (“Who breaks the ice cream machine, waaaaah!) “Give me the chicken nuggets dude!” Whaaa?

-he was critical of a moving truck that passed through the intersection as he waited at the red light. “What kind of driving is that, why is it so slow ?”as he read the side of the truck  “Kinnngssssswaaaaay”. 

Not anything worth millions but endearing nonetheless. 

There were off camera moments as well. Apparently during  the prep, he told the technician ” I love my mom and dad.  They are so awesome”.

And then later, “I don’t want to grow up. It’s scary”. The truth. 

My heart. 

The bravado, the confidence in my 16 year old is in the day to day. When he is sedated with truth serum, more of his worry wart mama comes out. It is scary.  Lots of decisions to be made this year about what to do in life.  We are a year away from having to make choices about schools, programs, what he wants to be when he grows up. How can he know that now? How can he know what his passion is? His middle aged mom is in her own process as she writes this.

I’m loving being here to see the minutiae of their daily life. They are already different than at the start the summer when I began my break. My son is a certified national life guard and has started driving lessons.  My daughter has discovered facial masks, eyeliner, Urban Outfitters and shopping malls. 

The American Girl dolls are in semi-permanent hibernation. Thomas the Tank and friends are in a basement storage bin.

I am still committed to embracing 2017 and the changes it will bring.  I just forgot that as the kids continue to grow up they are slowly but surely moving away from me.  And while rewarding, it will always remain at least a little frightening.

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A cool mom ?

As I’m now on a bit of a hiatus (at least from the corporate hamster wheel) I’ve been trying to take advantage of the “extra” time to do some reading.  Reading as in beyond typical book club fare.  Nothing wrong with book club, but it is nice to be able to even contemplate reading more than one book at a time.

I’m also making a conscious effort to de-clutter/ anti-hoard my place.  So while I’d love to be buying all manner of new reading material, I’ve found the better (and ultimately more economical option) is the local library. With the electronic options open today it’s just as easy to download e-versions of best sellers as it is to go old school for the physical copies.

Nevertheless I now make a regular trip to the libraries in our neighborhood -it reminds me of the time I was home with the kidlets and brought them to many community programs.  After which we would check out videos, I would let them run around with other kids and have some adult chat with other moms. I’m a nostalgic observer to that nowadays -hard to believe it was not that long ago.

I still go to the video section as movies never go old. And on the way, lucky for me I found on display -just staring me in the face as I was checking out material -the new album by the Weeknd. SCORE !!!( do people still say that?).

Starboy. Categorized rather incorrectly as “jazz” -I think? R&B maybe. Whatever.

Anyway, I borrowed it, and promptly popped it into my player in the car.

About a quarter way through I heard some super familiar lyrics and melodies rounding out the chorus every so often.  Was that the Weeknd sampling the Romantics and Tears for Fears?? I hear you talking in your sleep?  Pale Shelter?  I mentioned this to my 16 yo, who gave me a bemused smile. Not much impresses him these days.

I’m officially in love with this album. And even more pissed that my son went to see the Weeknd without me the last time he was here.

Finally, music that the kids’ parents will love ( and maybe make the kids love the artist less-but I somehow doubt it.)

Check it out at about the 3 minute mark…

(And let me know if you agree that he sounds a lot like MJ in the closing credits…)

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Well, here we are on the last day of November, the last day of NaBloPoMo and I’m presented with a wonderful prompt courtesy of Blogher:  have you chosen a word for yourself for 2017?

This isn’t something I normally do.  The last few years have been so focused on work and trying to be  inspirational to others that I had little thought for what would work for me.  Last year at this time it was all about focusing on excellence, taking implementation  and collaboration to the next level.  Business and organizational speak. On the homefront the focus was getting through each day at a time, making sure the kids were fed and doing homework, getting to their lessons and scheduling appointments, while my husband’s and my schedules had us passing each other like ships in the night. No time to smell the roses; no time to even see them.

For 2017 my word will be “EMBRACE”. It came to me quickly as I read the prompt – and when I reviewed the definition (because I like to look things up) I realized how perfect a word it is.

I’ve been making a much more concentrated effort to live in the moment. Believe you me, for a person who has been a lifelong planner it is difficult. To just let things go a little, enjoy the present, not be so anxious about what awaits and to worry less about tomorrow.

2017 will be a time to embrace the now. To cherish, hug and love my kids, my husband, my mother, my siblings, my family. To embrace my friends and be thankful for the wonderful circle that I have in my community. To hug it out whenever possible.

2017 will be a time to embrace opportunities. To be thankful and welcome change in a positive way.

This year has been a bit of a roller coaster ride. I’ve always loved roller coasters but have been feeling a little long in the tooth to appreciate them much in recent years. Life is like that that though, ups and downs with curves and excitement thrown at you often when you least expect it. I’m hopeful that the ride of 2016 will give me the perspective to embrace 2017 and all it has to offer.


And that folks, is NaBloPoMo 2016 over and OUT.

See you in December.

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What’s the deal with the Wubble bubble


My daughter couldn’t wait to go to Walmart to pick this up this weekend:

$29 CAD for a double bubble gum-like gigantic bubble blown up on steroids. A massive round flowy orb that picks up dust and errant pubic hairs (well thats what they look like but the kids assure me they are not).

I just like my kids’ reaction to their mom saying “pubic hair” to their face.


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Well that feels better

I’d been feeling a bit out of sorts all weekend, somewhat lethargic with no energy – rather lazy, as I schlepped the garland and some of the Christmas decorations up from the basement on Saturday. Maybe I was fighting something, I couldn’t figure it out.

Then it dawned on me-I’ve only gone to the gym twice this week, when my usual schedule is 4 times a week. Wow, 4 times -what a difference it can make when I miss a class or in this case, two. My body and more importantly my mind, really thrives on the exercise. It’s like an addiction -a good one at least.

It would have been so easy just to get home after school drop off, have a coffee and get into the stack of reading I haven’t been able to get into as I had anticipated so many weeks ago. Or do the Cyber Monday thing. But instead I put on my good girl hat, took the Codester for a quick walk and headed to my first Monday combat class in 3 weeks. I’ve lost a tiny bit of my rhythm -but I felt a whole lot better  after.  I had a productive happy day. 

I need more of these. So it’s off to my regular Tuesday class tomorrow. My mind and spirit will thank me.

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Decking the …mantle

This year I’ve got a helper who decided to be in charge of decorating our family room by herself.

Simple and festive – just perfect to watch holiday movies in this room now.

And from me, all sorts of wreaths

The 30 day countdown has begun.

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Mrs.  Brady is gone

Like most kids who grew up in the 70’s I was a big fan of the Brady Bunch. I used to watch after school, and through reruns as I babysat the kids across the street after school.  I’m pretty sure I caught every episode, even the specials when they demonstrated awesome matching outfits,  choreography and , ahem, singing.

We even had our own in-house Alice (albeit a Filipina) housekeeper when my mother needed extra help when my brother was 3 years old. There was comfort in her name.

The passing of Florence Henderson makes me sad. A sunshine-y TV mom who I appreciate more as I am a mother myself now, seeing my kids go through changes even day by day. Makes me appreciate the happy times with my kids.And makes me appreciate my own mom even more for the hero that she is.

RIP Mrs. Brady.

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