We the people of Walmart

The other evening my husband came home from work looking like this

https://giphy.com/embed/jW9XCAM3MwZ1K

via GIPHY

 

 

 

Well, without the chain and the white ‘fro, the track jacket was black, and his collar was quite unzipped. His collar was screaming out for something.

Turns out he had forgotten his workout t-shirt to bring to the gym, so he improvised.  At least he didn’t do weights in his dress shoes -that would have been a look.

Of course I couldn’t help but comment,  as his naked collar demanded a remark.

“So where’s the gold?” And he pretty much commented simultaneously -he had been thinking that the whole time he was working out. We are rather connected that way after all these crazy years together. We then promptly burst into a major laughing fit. Lunatics.

The next day I went to Walmart to check out the cheese that was on sale. I’ve been a more dutiful mother these days and noticed our cheese inventory was low, likely due to the many late night grilled cheese sandwiches for the growing teenager…I’m always on the lookout for cheese deals.

As I’m standing there looking at the selection, a smaller, older gentleman comes up next to me saying, “Oh, that’s really good cheese, and a great price!”

“I’m not familiar with this brand, is it good?” I replied, and then I looked over at him :


“Oh it’s good, especially the mozzarella!  I actually had just got to my car and had to turn around and come back to get more because it’s such a deal.”

Me: ” is the mozzarella good on pizza? My kids love pizza” (and I’m freaking out over the fact that I’m having a lovely conversation about the merits of Armstrong cheese with uncle Soprano).

Him:” I don’t know about pizza, probably. Alls I know is that it’s fantastic on crackers, slice ’em up small and it’s so sweet in the mouth.”

Me:” I just noticed the expiry is rather short-it’s only good for another couple of weeks…”

Him:”Really? Where do you see that? Just freeze it, you can do that it will be fine. Me, I’ll finish it up way before that…you should get some.”

So I bought the cheese.  Because honestly, how could I do otherwise?

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I used to have pretty feet, and other middle-aged laments 

I used to love being pampered, manicured, pedicured, buffed, massaged … all in the name of getting my pretty on.  I remember one time during a pedicure, the technician commented that I had really pretty feet.  I guess it’s all relative, she’d probably seen her fair share of not-so-nice paws.  Still, I appreciated the compliment.  Especially since I was a few weeks into my second pregnancy, at a time when I could still see my toes, and I was likely glowing with the fact that I was actually pregnant again after another fertility roller coaster.  Still young-ish at 39, with a shiny happy marriage and preschooler.  Those were the days.  

Nowadays, I still love being pampered, love a massage and have discovered the shellac manicure. ( The irony of having more time but less money for such luxuries does not escape me.) But the feet – ack, they are no longer pretty.  In fact, they are pretty jacked up.  Bunions – check.  Flat feet (thanks kids!) – orthotics – check.  Plantar fasciitis-check.  Banged up toes due to aggressive workouts and bad shoes – double-check. So I get quite anxious when it comes to pedicures.  I have found a great technician who is not judgemental at all. She scolds me when I let my heels crack with fissures the size of the Grand Canyon. Gotta love her.  But I suppose it’s just another aspect of aging and life that I need to come to terms with.

The workouts that I love?  They are getting harder and harder.  I love the music, love the beat, love the moves. It’s just that at over 50 now, I lose my breath faster, the choreography is not coming to me as quickly or sticking as well, the punches that I throw are feeling weaker than they were even just last year.  My balance is totally off,  I’m heavier (although not so noticeable – it sits on me funny), I’m only sleeping 6 hours a night tops, and popping ibuprofen and Robax more than I should.

I’ve decided to take on more stretching, core-focused exercise, and am doing more Bodyflow classes, the class I started with way back when the kids were young and I was pretty darn flexible.  They are a fantastic workout, as I get pretty sweaty holding those yoga poses, and trying not to crash every time we have a balancing pose.  It’s  not as exciting as the dance / hip hop or punchy/kicky combat, though.  

One thing that helps with my balance?  

I stole my son’s obnoxious Skyzone socks for grip.

Yeah, trampoline socks for flowy yoga classes.

Isn’t it ironic, don’tcha think? 

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People watch 2017

I went downtown via subway again earlier this week for a meeting.  Look at me so adventurous again, taking public transit, whaaat?  Thank goodness I was able to get the fifth to last parking spot in the commuter lot – yes, I counted.  I was also ready to go all ninja on anyone who tried to take that spot from me.  Thank goodness for them that no-one did, just sayin’.

Since it was at the start of the subway line, it was easy enough to get a seat on the first car I saw.   You could otherwise call it a front row seat to the not- greatest show on earth.   The circus of the people on public transit.  You don’t need to watch animals to be entertained by strange behavior these days. Stupid human tricks happen in our midst everyday, apparently.

It’s been a while since I was a seasoned commuter so I naively assumed that my iPhone would be enough to keep me entertained (even without service) during my voyage into the city.  But why would that suffice when, crammed into the subway car during rush hour, despite the limited places to look, there is always something to catch your attention?

The train arrived at the standing only stage within a couple of stops.  A petite woman with a heavy parka, backpack and a rolling back pack in tow, came into the car. She squeezed in between two people standing in front of me. And then proceeded to put on the most intricate peeling-off-of-coat-not -sexy-at-all-why-the-hell-was-she-wearing-so-many-layers performance, that I have ever been witness to.  Honestly don’t know how she even did it, she shrugged off the shoulders but left the sleeves still somehow attached under her backpack straps, and slid the coat down to her hips. She then pulled out her tablet, got her balance and started to read. For about 30 seconds, then she glanced at another woman’s reader (I guess to see if the other story was more interesting ?!), spotted a clearer spot a little further down the car, and when we got to the next stop, she moved. Backpack, roller, parka, tablet and all. It was just getting interesting. And my nosy eyes followed her the whole time.  

Then I snapped out of it as I realized other people who had also been gawking at her, were now gawking at each other as in, also at me, and I got all self-conscious because I still had another 10 stops to go, and nowhere else to look.  So I stared at my no-service phone for the rest of the ride.

Oh the joys of commuting. 

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“It’s scary”

Not to start out with a crazy post for the new year or anything. I’ve just come to realize, with the holiday break coming to an end in 14 hours or so (well if you tack on sleep it will be more like 20), time is whizzing by at an incredibly fast speed.  Even though we did pretty much NOTHING over the break. Other than hang around the house, with the occasional outing to the mall, the movies -usual stuff. When I took my daughter to the Science center for the day she said, “Finally we’re doing something after over a week in the house!!!”

So how did it just whip by? And how did I let it?

The one thing that has become crystal clear to me during this episode of “staying home with the kids part deux” is that as much as the kids really need me, I most certainly need them. They don’t define all of me, but they sure are a large chunk of my identity.  How could they not be?  The tremendous efforts we (and I in particular -oh those injections -oof) made through the years to realize our dream of having a family were beyond worth it.  It’s nothing like the holidays and the simple conversations we’ve had with the kids, seeing them develop even within the last two weeks of nothingness, to highlight the scariest fact.

They are growing up. 

Last week, my son had surgery to remove a couple of wisdom teeth and was only comfortable with it if we guaranteed sedation for him.  Which of course we did. How else would his sister get hilarious video footage of him to share out on social media in order for us to make millions?  She waited patiently for 90 minutes and then filmed him  on the ride home.  Some of it was hilarious:

– the boy was really hankering for a McD’s strawberry milkshake post surgery and started crying when he remembered a precious drive thru fail to get an Oreo McFlurry. (“Who breaks the ice cream machine, waaaaah!) “Give me the chicken nuggets dude!” Whaaa?

-he was critical of a moving truck that passed through the intersection as he waited at the red light. “What kind of driving is that, why is it so slow ?”as he read the side of the truck  “Kinnngssssswaaaaay”. 

Not anything worth millions but endearing nonetheless. 

There were off camera moments as well. Apparently during  the prep, he told the technician ” I love my mom and dad.  They are so awesome”.

And then later, “I don’t want to grow up. It’s scary”. The truth. 

My heart. 

The bravado, the confidence in my 16 year old is in the day to day. When he is sedated with truth serum, more of his worry wart mama comes out. It is scary.  Lots of decisions to be made this year about what to do in life.  We are a year away from having to make choices about schools, programs, what he wants to be when he grows up. How can he know that now? How can he know what his passion is? His middle aged mom is in her own process as she writes this.

I’m loving being here to see the minutiae of their daily life. They are already different than at the start the summer when I began my break. My son is a certified national life guard and has started driving lessons.  My daughter has discovered facial masks, eyeliner, Urban Outfitters and shopping malls. 

The American Girl dolls are in semi-permanent hibernation. Thomas the Tank and friends are in a basement storage bin.

I am still committed to embracing 2017 and the changes it will bring.  I just forgot that as the kids continue to grow up they are slowly but surely moving away from me.  And while rewarding, it will always remain at least a little frightening.

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A cool mom ?

As I’m now on a bit of a hiatus (at least from the corporate hamster wheel) I’ve been trying to take advantage of the “extra” time to do some reading.  Reading as in beyond typical book club fare.  Nothing wrong with book club, but it is nice to be able to even contemplate reading more than one book at a time.

I’m also making a conscious effort to de-clutter/ anti-hoard my place.  So while I’d love to be buying all manner of new reading material, I’ve found the better (and ultimately more economical option) is the local library. With the electronic options open today it’s just as easy to download e-versions of best sellers as it is to go old school for the physical copies.

Nevertheless I now make a regular trip to the libraries in our neighborhood -it reminds me of the time I was home with the kidlets and brought them to many community programs.  After which we would check out videos, I would let them run around with other kids and have some adult chat with other moms. I’m a nostalgic observer to that nowadays -hard to believe it was not that long ago.

I still go to the video section as movies never go old. And on the way, lucky for me I found on display -just staring me in the face as I was checking out material -the new album by the Weeknd. SCORE !!!( do people still say that?).

Starboy. Categorized rather incorrectly as “jazz” -I think? R&B maybe. Whatever.

Anyway, I borrowed it, and promptly popped it into my player in the car.

About a quarter way through I heard some super familiar lyrics and melodies rounding out the chorus every so often.  Was that the Weeknd sampling the Romantics and Tears for Fears?? I hear you talking in your sleep?  Pale Shelter?  I mentioned this to my 16 yo, who gave me a bemused smile. Not much impresses him these days.

I’m officially in love with this album. And even more pissed that my son went to see the Weeknd without me the last time he was here.

Finally, music that the kids’ parents will love ( and maybe make the kids love the artist less-but I somehow doubt it.)

Check it out at about the 3 minute mark…

(And let me know if you agree that he sounds a lot like MJ in the closing credits…)

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Embrace

Well, here we are on the last day of November, the last day of NaBloPoMo and I’m presented with a wonderful prompt courtesy of Blogher:  have you chosen a word for yourself for 2017?

This isn’t something I normally do.  The last few years have been so focused on work and trying to be  inspirational to others that I had little thought for what would work for me.  Last year at this time it was all about focusing on excellence, taking implementation  and collaboration to the next level.  Business and organizational speak. On the homefront the focus was getting through each day at a time, making sure the kids were fed and doing homework, getting to their lessons and scheduling appointments, while my husband’s and my schedules had us passing each other like ships in the night. No time to smell the roses; no time to even see them.

For 2017 my word will be “EMBRACE”. It came to me quickly as I read the prompt – and when I reviewed the definition (because I like to look things up) I realized how perfect a word it is.

I’ve been making a much more concentrated effort to live in the moment. Believe you me, for a person who has been a lifelong planner it is difficult. To just let things go a little, enjoy the present, not be so anxious about what awaits and to worry less about tomorrow.

2017 will be a time to embrace the now. To cherish, hug and love my kids, my husband, my mother, my siblings, my family. To embrace my friends and be thankful for the wonderful circle that I have in my community. To hug it out whenever possible.

2017 will be a time to embrace opportunities. To be thankful and welcome change in a positive way.

This year has been a bit of a roller coaster ride. I’ve always loved roller coasters but have been feeling a little long in the tooth to appreciate them much in recent years. Life is like that that though, ups and downs with curves and excitement thrown at you often when you least expect it. I’m hopeful that the ride of 2016 will give me the perspective to embrace 2017 and all it has to offer.

*****

And that folks, is NaBloPoMo 2016 over and OUT.

See you in December.

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What’s the deal with the Wubble bubble

Wubblelicious

My daughter couldn’t wait to go to Walmart to pick this up this weekend:


$29 CAD for a double bubble gum-like gigantic bubble blown up on steroids. A massive round flowy orb that picks up dust and errant pubic hairs (well thats what they look like but the kids assure me they are not).

I just like my kids’ reaction to their mom saying “pubic hair” to their face.

Priceless. 

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